While being pregnant with little man I feared he wouldn't let me cuddle him. He was so active and always moving, completely opposite of the little princess, that I expected him to come out and always be moving. Maybe when he grows a bit and can actually move on his own he will, but for now he is such a little cuddler. I love it. Some people have said how awful...not that he likes to cuddle but that the only way for him to sleep is in my (or daddy's) arms. I didn't want to come home from the hospital when I probably could've, I asked lover boy to let me stay as long as possible. Again, I know a few of you who think that's insanity, that it's much better to be at your own home recovering...but with my personality I knew it'd be better to stay at the hospital. Sure enough when we got home I kicked back into "Trichelle" gear and every little thing out of place started to irritate me. Luckily (I thought) lover boy was home to take the little man and help out. I still totally over did it and paid for it the next day. When I figured out little man sleeps and doesn't cry in my arms I decided to totally take advantage of it. It is such a blessing. It makes me rest when he wants to, which is almost all day you know. I am still able to get quite a bit done because he is okay in his little vibrating chair for a little bit but then I only have x amount of time to get things done. I still sit and go crazy that there is garbage out, dishes undone, toys on the floor, or whatever and poor little princess has to put up with me asking her to do it all...but I'm working on being not so obsessed. I'm really enjoying the moments to lay down with little man in one arm and little princess laying on the other side. We try to savor the moment while it's here.
Another thing...I really am such a lucky lucky person. After husband #1, I feared that I'd never find someone who'd love me like that again. I know that he did, just something happened for a second that made him think otherwise. I knew that there were/are other people out there who could love me and make me happy, but with husband #1 I just felt like it was something totally different. Can't really explain it...because at the same time I knew something was missing from our relationship too. Maybe I feared that if I didn't have it with him, I wouldn't ever be able to find it with anyone...Rambling, rambling...
Anyways along came Mr. lover boy. I remember the first second I saw him, I was immediately physically attracted to him and honestly within days was terrified of him. I don't tend to like guys, really like them, so quickly. Usually we have to become or be really good friends for a while first. The other guys are just cute and fun but I know it's just for a minute. My attention span isn't too long. But Mr. lover boy, just knew how to sweep me off my feet. Only God knows how, because it surely wasn't his way with words (he's quite blunt and always likes to remind me that at least he's honest), couldn't have been the unique dates we had (we usually just did dinner and hanging out at his house), but goodness oh goodness there was something. He's been so wonderful to me and little princess since the beginning. We both adore him. I get the butterflies in my tummy everytime I see his number calling or a text message from him. I get the overwhelming feeling of anxiety when I first see him. I haven't had those feelings since like, highschool. I still get them everyday and I love it. He takes such good care of our little family, especially for how quickly he's had to, he sure didn't have much warning or familiarity with what he was taking on, but he's done incredibly well and I consider myself very lucky to have him.
And while I'm in the counting my blessing mode...Thanks so much to everyone who has helped us along our journey. From my parents who guided me and gave me courage when I first told them about husband #1 wanting out of our marriage to the friends who've held my hand and watched me fall plenty times and bend down to pick me up to little princess who cries when I cry and holds me not having a clue what on earth is going on to the girls I worked with who I could talk very openly to and not be criticized or judged to those very thoughtful people who've brought in meals to me and spared me from worrying about my least favorite thing, making dinner. Thanks for everything!!
See, I am a lucky girl!