I've been a pretty independent person, I worked to help financially support my family when I was married to Little Princess' Daddy, I worked even harder after the divorce to keep the same lifestyle for her and myself. Now, being a stay-at-home mom I sometimes feel like I contribute nothing and feel so guilty when I spend money on anything other than necessities. I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone; however I know it's not true, I know that being a mom to my children is more important than bringing in a paycheck, but sometimes I can't help but feel like a lazy bum. Being a mom is so hard. Taking care of the kids each and every day can be hard work, I wonder if I'm too grouchy, wonder if I'm teaching them the things that they need to be kind, loving, respectful, and fun children, I wonder if I let Little Princess watch too much TV and don't play with her enough, I wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to with Little Man. I'm sure that many mom's have questioned themselves the same way that I do, and if not please don't burst my bubble of hope because that's what I tell myself to keep me going.
I absolutely love being a mom though. I have so much fun watching these two little angels interact with the world and it respond to them. It brings me so much happiness every time I see a smile on their faces and hear the music of their laughter. I feel like a first time mom. When Little Princess was born I needed to continue working so she spent the time I was at work with my Mom. I'm fortunate enough to have a mom that was able to help me out and raise my daughter while I was working. They have such an incredible bond developed between them, and while it was hard at times to have Little Princess prefer my mom over me, it is such a blessing. I'm glad that they have that. I remember on the weekends that I didn't work, I'd panic about having to take care of my child. I didn't know what to do, and the funny thing is that I felt like that until she was probably 9 months. So now with Little man everything seems new. It's fun and exciting.
When we got home from the cruise and I saw my Little Man he'd seriously grown so much. He's so stinking dang cute. I just can't get enough of him. He's the best baby. I thought Little Princess was the perfect baby and I said I would have 10 children if they'd all be like her, everyone told me that the next one would be a stinker. WRONG, he's even better. He never fusses, unless he needs a diaper change or he's hungry or tired. He is always smiling. He is content to sit in his swing or lay on the ground with his toys. I just couldn't ask for a better baby.
Tonight we started our bedtime routine and was getting his jammies on him and he just started to laugh. Not just a little giggle but the laughter that comes from the gut. It was so cute, so I had to just lay there and talk to him and tickle his little collarbone. Then he started to twist to his side, which he's been doing a lot of lately. We've just been waiting for him to roll over. He was so close, but his shoulder was in the way. It was fun just laying and talking jibberish with him. Then all of a sudden he made it all the way over, pulled out his shoulder from underneath him and lifted his head. He wasn't quite as impressed as I, but he was proud of himself none-the-less. Way to go Little Man.
Right before the big achievement.
Mommy cheering him on:)