Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Being a MOM

I've been a pretty independent person, I worked to help financially support my family when I was married to Little Princess' Daddy, I worked even harder after the divorce to keep the same lifestyle for her and myself. Now, being a stay-at-home mom I sometimes feel like I contribute nothing and feel so guilty when I spend money on anything other than necessities. I feel like I'm a disappointment to everyone; however I know it's not true, I know that being a mom to my children is more important than bringing in a paycheck, but sometimes I can't help but feel like a lazy bum. Being a mom is so hard. Taking care of the kids each and every day can be hard work, I wonder if I'm too grouchy, wonder if I'm teaching them the things that they need to be kind, loving, respectful, and fun children, I wonder if I let Little Princess watch too much TV and don't play with her enough, I wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to with Little Man. I'm sure that many mom's have questioned themselves the same way that I do, and if not please don't burst my bubble of hope because that's what I tell myself to keep me going.

I absolutely love being a mom though. I have so much fun watching these two little angels interact with the world and it respond to them. It brings me so much happiness every time I see a smile on their faces and hear the music of their laughter. I feel like a first time mom. When Little Princess was born I needed to continue working so she spent the time I was at work with my Mom. I'm fortunate enough to have a mom that was able to help me out and raise my daughter while I was working. They have such an incredible bond developed between them, and while it was hard at times to have Little Princess prefer my mom over me, it is such a blessing. I'm glad that they have that. I remember on the weekends that I didn't work, I'd panic about having to take care of my child. I didn't know what to do, and the funny thing is that I felt like that until she was probably 9 months. So now with Little man everything seems new. It's fun and exciting.

When we got home from the cruise and I saw my Little Man he'd seriously grown so much. He's so stinking dang cute. I just can't get enough of him. He's the best baby. I thought Little Princess was the perfect baby and I said I would have 10 children if they'd all be like her, everyone told me that the next one would be a stinker. WRONG, he's even better. He never fusses, unless he needs a diaper change or he's hungry or tired. He is always smiling. He is content to sit in his swing or lay on the ground with his toys. I just couldn't ask for a better baby.

Tonight we started our bedtime routine and was getting his jammies on him and he just started to laugh. Not just a little giggle but the laughter that comes from the gut. It was so cute, so I had to just lay there and talk to him and tickle his little collarbone. Then he started to twist to his side, which he's been doing a lot of lately. We've just been waiting for him to roll over. He was so close, but his shoulder was in the way. It was fun just laying and talking jibberish with him. Then all of a sudden he made it all the way over, pulled out his shoulder from underneath him and lifted his head. He wasn't quite as impressed as I, but he was proud of himself none-the-less. Way to go Little Man.

Right before the big achievement.

Right after

Mommy cheering him on:)


Lindsay Family said...

Yes Trichelle, I think that all moms question themselves. At least I do all of the time. I have seen you with your kids and you are a great mom. Your baby HAS grown up so much. He is so cute.

Shari said...

You are not alone in your thoughts on being a stay at home mother. If it helps any, I STILL have some of those same thoughts and look how old mine are getting. You are doing a great job being a mom. Your children do not realize how lucky they are in this day and age that you are willing to sacrifice $$$ to stay at home. I know family is important to you, enjoy and cherish these moments. They grow so fast, okay there are days that it seems like forever but it does pass. There were times when I wished the kids would be in school so I could have "me" time, now I have more "me" time than I want. :-) Anyway, keep up the good work. Oh ya, Zaden is getting so BIG! WOW! He will definitely be a little man by the time I meet him.

Ben and Ash said...

You have such an amazing way with words. I'm not really sure how you did it-but you just extracted my exact thought process. I struggle with those questioning feelings constantly. I love how much you cherish your kids and love staying home with them. I'm still working on "loving" to stay home. And how awesome that you were able to capture your baby rolling over for the first time on camera! That is pretty priceless.

Shay said...

First of all, I can't believe how much little Zaden has changed since I saw him last, which was only like 2 weeks ago! Wow! I guess I am always saying it goes by too fast! I think every stay at home mom, or any mom at all for that matter can relate to the insecurities you have. It seems like at the end of every day I look back and wonder if I could've played more with Emery or handled certain situations differently; did I pass up any learning opportunities; am I giving her enough attention? I think though the fact that you question yourself shows how good a mom you actually are. You care and want to be the very best and YOU ARE! You are so cute and attentive with both your children and Ivy is such a smarty pants! I am in awe of how you always keep everything so together!! Love ya, and thanks for the card! It made my day :)

Mandy and Nate said...

Isn't it fun when they roll for the first time. Totally agree with you on how hard it is to be a mom, but how great it is in the end.