Sometimes in life I catch myself only seeing the gloom. Lately that has been my outlook. I see gray clouds daily, sometimes drops of rain and hear rolling thunder. I love that in weather but not so much when it's my perception of daily life.
Don't get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed being in "retirement" with my husband. We refer to it as retirement to keep us from getting so down...it really has helped slightly. I enjoy spending each day with the ones I love most in life. It is so nice to be a newly wed and see your lovely spouse for more than a few minutes each day. We have so much to be grateful for. We have really become to know each other inside and out. We are able to appreciate each other so much more. It has been a blessing.
However as each day passes, we have let the fear of what this life really means creep into us. It's in our hearts and souls. Lover Boy has been looking for a new job since last August. Fortunately he had a job at the time, so it wasn't such a big deal when there were no call backs. May came around and Lover Boys hours at work were slaughtered. He was "lucky" if he could get in 20 hours a week. I wasn't working at that time and so the tremendous cut back hit us quite hard. Then my job contacted me and asked if I'd like to go back to work 2 days a week, it was their busy time of year and they could use an extra person. Honestly I wasn't thrilled about going back to work, but thrilled that it would be an extra income. We got married the first of May and within one week, Lover Boy found out he would be terminated within a month. They cut his hours back even more. By then he was working a max of 10 hours a week. He spoke to management and explained to them that it was impossible for him to support his family with no guarantee of hours (which not to mention he had to be to work at 5 a.m. and was usually sent home by 6 a.m, what was the point of waking up so early?). He asked if they could immediately lay him off so that he could gather unemployment. They agreed. His unemployment was still hardly worth anything, but at least we could count on the same amount each week, which made it much easier to adjust our budget. We were blessed because my work picked up enough (or they felt sympathy towards my situation) and I was allowed full time hours for the summer but informed I wouldn't be able to stay pass Labor Day weekend. We were ok with that because that was 3 1/2 months away and surely Lover Boy would find something by then. Labor Day came, hundreds of applications and resumes were sent in (even to Mc Donalds and other fast food chains, every gas station in the area, restaraunts, mall jobs, just about everywhere), and only a handful of call backs were given and even fewer interviews. We were able to negotiate terms on my car loan with the credit union so that my credit wouldn't be effected but my payments could be less, we adjusted our grocery and gas bills, we switched our phone plans, cancelled unnecessary services, sold many things that we didn't NEED and did everything that we could to make our income work. Selling the house became an idea, but was quickly put out the door once we checked rent prices, our house payment is the same as rent and much bigger.
We decided that we could clean out the basement and turn that back into a rental unit. I was not looking forward to that idea, but...what other option did we have, besides sell the house and move in with family? We are really trying our hardest to be responsible and not become someones' burden.
Needless to say, I was terrified. I cannot see the future, how long would we have to go on like this? Now, don't get me wrong because we truly are blessed and I know our situation doesn't even compare to so many other families out there...but regardless of that fact I have still been down.
Lover Boy's wonderful friend Sergei told him that he could apply at his work and that he would give him a good referral. Lover Boy got an interview, but no job. That was crushing...
My dear mom kept reminding me that "Faith in God is also faith in his timing" or something like that. She is right, of course mom's always are. I decided to just put it in His hands. We are surviving just fine, our needs are all met along with many of our wants. Really money isn't the issue for us, we live on less than many people's house payment (and not the really big new homes either), it's just the feeling of taking advantage of the system (although I don't feel we are taking advantage, but you start to wonder sometimes if you are slacking off and becoming the ghetto person).
The ray of sunshine:
I'm so lucky to have a cousin who cares. My cousin knows Lover Boy is highly interested in the IT industry, and this cousin works for a rapidly growing IT company. Lover Boy had applied there last year, but the job was given to another applicant. My cousin called my dad a few weeks ago and asked if Lover Boy was still looking for a job, because there would possibly be 2 positions available in the future. Long story short, my wonderful cousin has taken the time to prepare Lover Boy for the position he's applying for. Of course there is no guarantee Lover Boy will get it but it has warmed our hearts so much at the generosity of my cousin. Lover Boy had his first interview yesterday with them, and passed that! YAY! Now he will be tested on his skills, if that is passed then I believe there are more interviews. After he'd gotten out of that interview yesterday he was contacted by an employer that he'd applied at and interviewed with asking for a second interview. What a great day!!
Obviously Lover Boy would hands down prefer the job in the field that he's interested in, however if he doesn't get it he's thankful to have this other opportunity available. Our home was been much brighter the last 2 days, moods are happier, stress is dying down...We do fully understand that it is a possibility that nothing come from either of these, but it's been a confidence booster (you know you kind of wonder about yourself when even Mc Donalds won't call you back).
ANYWAYS, HAPPY HAPPY DAYS...SOMETHING WILL WORK OUT EVENTUALLY.
and a big huge THANK YOU to my cousin, regardless if Lover Boy getting the job or not it means the world to us that you are taking the time to help him and care enough about us, and it's not just from me, Lover Boy mentioned it last night after leaving your house that it is so reassuring that you would help him in such a way!!